Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A little boost never hurt anyone, right?!?

So, I've been doing really well on my weight-loss "program", if you can call it that. I basically do what I feel I need to do to lose weight, nothing special. Just watching what I eat, trying to exercise frequently. However, I have been thinking that maybe I should add something to my daily regimen to help shed those ugly unwanted pounds faster. I've heard of alli before, I know of the side effects too. But when I went to the website to view the Q&A, it was really funny to read about it. With side effects like these (which won't likely happen if I'm eating as I should), it makes you think twice about wanting to take alli, lol. I still may give it a go, though. Like I said, I eat pretty good these days; hopefully I won't have any "accidents". Below are a few suggestions I found on their webpage. I have put all of these suggestions in laymans terms for anyone who may need help understanding what is being said. If you are easily offended (in other words, have no sense of humor), you may want to discontinue reading.
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"Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over." (You'd better stop eating junk food now, or else... Stay home for the first few days because your diarrhea is going to be off the charts! Now is not the time to stray too far from the toilet; you're going to need it more than you know.)
"While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings" (Alli will affect you in ways you cannot imagine. Not only will your bowel movements be unpredictable, but you'll be in so much pain that you'll never want to fall off your diet plan again. Thank you, alli!!!)
"You can't "save fat grams" from lunch and "spend them" at dinner. Spread your daily fat gram allowance of 15 grams on average per meal over the whole day" (Use common sense and don't be an idiot. This ain't no Weight Watchers!)
"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work" (Since you'll probably crap your pants a few times, always bring a change of clothes! I'd suggest some wipes, as well.)
"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens " (So if you're a normally gassy person to begin with, you're in trouble! I hope you can run real fast, too.)
"You can use a food journal to recognize what foods can lead to treatment effects. For example, writing down what you eat may help you learn that marinara sauce is a better option than Alfredo sauce" (Note to self: stay away from Alfredo sauce! And I don't think I'd call this a food journal...)

5 comments:

Nathan, Kassie and Emilie said...

Hilarious, yet scary at the same time! I can't believe you are still considering taking it. Maybe you should pick up a pack of depends just in case :)

ACDC2005 said...

HAHAHA, sounds like some of the cleanses I've done. You should look into the master cleanse as well. Good luck, I hope you don't need to change your pants ever!

Tara D said...

Yeah, I think I've changed my mind on taking anything. I don't want to have to bring extra pants to work, just in case. hee hee

hoLLy said...

oh my gosh that is hilarious(and your little comments are pretty darn funny too:) if you try it, good luck. sam's club has some REALLY LARGE boxes of depends in case you are interested-hehe.

hoLLy said...

oh and the next time you come over(which i wish was sooner!) i'll make you some chicken alfredo-haha.