Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Nine things men should know by now

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying YOU SUCK!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


Patty said...

That's pretty funny and true. We have a language all our own.


hoLLy said...

soooooo true. i think we women are psychos sometimes, aren't we? those poor poor men that have to deal with us. no wonder some guys are gay.

Shankar said...

I've had the same thought about gay guys myself. Us straight ones are just gluttons for punishment.

Oh, and when a guys says, "There are only five minutes left in the game", that's the same as your five minutes for getting ready, due to the interminable number of time-outs and beer commercials at the end of the game.

Tara D said...

Yes, that's true Shankar, but when WE say you have five minutes left to watch it, you only have FIVE minutes. :)

Champion Family said...

LOVE IT!!! I think I'm going to sit Rand down in front of this and study and memorize and study some more. There may even be a test. What am I saying, there is ALWAYS a test! :)


love this blog - i am going to make Peter read it right away or will I cuz then he will understand me and then where is the mystery.

swainsRus said...

Tell them Tara! Love it! Jeremy needs to read this. Maybe there would be less fights in our house if he did!