When it comes down to it, I don't really know what to say or how to say it. How do I really express my feelings when it comes to losing the dog that I've cared for for over 15 years? Ultimately, the decision had to be made to humanely have her euthanized. The decision was made exactly a week ago today and she was put down this past Saturday. She really was one of my best friends, and it was about a year ago when her health began to decline. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I saw her run, play with her toys, bark, or even wag her tail. Sadly, she had left me long ago it seems. I've been missing her for quite some time now. I couldn't say for a certainty that I was 100% convinced that putting her down was the right thing to do. Though the decision had been made, I kept second guessing myself, wondering if I was robbing her of life. I knew she wasn't happy though. I took her out that Friday to potty, as I always do, when she started acting as if she had something stuck in her mouth. I reached down to help her out, when she bit me. Hard. Never in over 15 years had she bitten me. I cried...a lot. Not because it hurt (though it did) or even that it had hurt my feelings. I cried because I knew she was hurt and still hurting enough to have bitten me. That wasn't like her, and I knew then that we'd made the right decision, afterall. She had had enough. That was the day she also stopped eating altogether. That week she'd started eating less and less, till she'd only eat snacks and cheese. Friday, she wouldn't take anything. And by Saturday morning, she was having difficulties breathing, so my husband and I hurried to get her to the vet. Though there was a sense of relief and peace when she took that last breath, of course it was painful to witness her slip away. I'll never forget holding her, telling her what a good dog she was, that I loved her, and that I'd see her again one day. I hope that she knows what she meant to me (and Arthur, too). I look forward to the day that I am reunited with her once again. For now, I imagine she's just as happy as can be, doing all of the things she hasn't been able to lately. We love you, Chloe, forever.
3 comments:
i seriously got teary eyed reading this post just now :( poor chloe...for her to have bitten you really said a lot..you definitely made the right choice and i'm glad you are sure of it now. she is a happy doggie again :) its sad how life comes to a close. sad how we grow old and change..and suffer. humans and animals alike. it kinda scares me sometimes. though we know its no the end, it doesn't make the pain of missing someone special go away. we'll miss chloe so much. she was a special dog and a special member of the smith family. you were a good mama to her. hugs..
Thanks, Holly. :)
i'm finally catching up on some blogging today...you should too ;)
p.s. just read your caption under crews side pic. i love that him walking scares the crap out of you. it should. it really should...lol
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